Weddings at Our Lady of the Blessed Sacrament Parish

Are you and your engaged fiance considering entering into the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony? Congratulations! Please contact the Parish Office to request information about the marriage preparation process, and about planning your special day at our church.

In the Jewish and Christian Tradition the exchange of the wedding vows before God and community is seen as a sacred moment and the resulting union is regarded as a holy, lifelong covenant. The Christian, and specifically the Catholic Tradition, considers marriage between two baptized persons to be a sacrament - a sign and source of grace - God’s life-giving Spirit of Love. God’s self-revelation in history and most of all in Jesus Christ, makes us aware that God is Love and that all genuine love is from God (1 Jn 4,7 f.). God is the heart and core of love, the source of all true love.

The very first pages of the Sacred Scripture tell us that the human being is created in the image and likeness of God as male and female. Husband and wife together are the reflection, the representation of God in the world. The couple, through the giving and receiving of love, makes visible God’s life giving power which flows out of all creation. The life-long, unconditional, uncompromising commitment of a Christian man and woman to each other is an image of the eternal, unconditional and uncompromising commitment of God to the human family. This commitment reached its completion and consummation in the incarnation of Jesus, God’s Son.

Marriage as a sacrament is a serious and sacred commitment that calls a man and a woman to each other in the most profound and permanent way. Their mutual love is a reminder of the love of Jesus Christ. By the grace of this sacrament, they become able to love one another as Christ loved them. As a married couple, they become a visible sign and reminder of Christ’s love for each other and for all people.

Christian marriage forms the basis of the family, which is properly identified as the foundation of society. Such vision implies certain values and principals. Christian marriage is a vocation and a sacrament of the Church. It is a mutual bond of human love, symbolic of the eternal covenant between Christ and his Church. Marriage requires a level of personal maturity sufficient to ensure the growth of the couple and the proper up bringing of their children.

The cornerstone of our current understanding of this sacrament is the Vatican II document Gaudium et Spes, the Pastoral Constitution on, “The Church in the Modern World.” In sections 47-52 the Council Fathers speak in rich and inspiring terms of Matrimony as “an intimate partnership of life and love,” and “a covenant of love and fidelity” of “irrevocable personal consent.”

The teachings of the Council signify a significant shift in emphasis from contract to covenant, from a legalistic preoccupation to a more personal concern, and from a static understanding of matrimony to an appreciation of process and gradualism in the marital relationship.

The right to marry is a natural right of high priority. It is not, however, an unrestricted right. It is conditioned by one’s capability to enter marriage as understood in the Catholic tradition; it is conditioned also by the rights and interests of society, both civil and ecclesiastical, and the good of the children to be born.

The Church assists couples in discerning the nature of their love relationship by stressing the gifts of fidelity, exclusivity, and permanence in matrimony. (Canon 1055) Marriage is a process, a journey that includes both expected and unexpected events. The couple is called to move toward greater intimacy and deepened commitment. This commitment explicitly signifies Christ’s presence in today’s world. This commitment is a call to ministry, the spouses for each other and beyond. It is a call to spirituality, hospitality and outreach. It is a call to be a sign and instrument of God’s grace in the world today.

RESPONSIBILITIES OF THE ENGAGED COUPLE

A couple desiring to be married is expected to contact the priest/deacon six months prior to the proposed date of their wedding. This interval allows time to prepare well for such a sacred commitment. Only in rare circumstances will exceptions be permitted. The required notification is designed to assure adequate time for assessment of readiness to marry and a fitting catechesis for the celebration of the sacrament.

This requirement will allow for flexibility and for a reasonable cause, if in the prudent judgment of the pastor, marriage preparation can be adequately completed. Only the diocesan bishop, vicar general, or dean may allow a specific period of preparation.
The priest/deacon or designated lay person should meet with the couple as soon as possible after initial contact to establish rapport, to discuss the details of this marriage preparation process and to respond to any question the couple may have. This important part of the process should be handled with pastoral sensitivity and not be reduced to simply “filling out the forms”.

The couple must take an active part in all steps of the guidelines that apply to them. With the assistance of their priest/deacon, they are to:

• identify and cultivate their gifts and strengths

• deal with any areas of difficulty in their relationship

• participate in assessment and preparation

• recognize and an openness to children

• participate in a formal marriage preparation program

• participate in premarital evaluation and counseling when recommended that marriage is essentially characterized by unity, fidelity, permanence

A tentative wedding date may be set at the time of this initial contact with the priest/deacon. Only when the couple has completed the two phases the Marriage Preparation Process will the final wedding date will be confirmed.

Marriage between two Catholics is to take place in the parish church of the bride or the groom. A marriage between a Catholic and a baptized Christian of another tradition should take place in the parish church of the Catholic party unless a dispensation from canonical form has been granted.

A wedding between a Catholic and a person not baptized may be celebrated in a church or in a sacred place. In this case, although the diocesan bishop’s permission is not required, the officiating minister should act prudently in light of the sacred character of ceremony and any additional diocesan guidelines of this subject. For the validity, dispensation from disparity of cult must be obtained from the bishop or the vicar general.

The celebration of a marriage signifies a new dimension of life within the Christian community. It is a time for the couple to publicly witness their union of covenant love and fidelity.

If a couple has given little thought to the significance of the parish church in their wedding plans, this is a special time to call them to a new awareness of the church as symbol of the parish faith community and the site to gather for worship and prayer. This is an important opportunity to call the couple to a new awareness of their married life as part of the sacramental life and of the parish family.

Parish regulations concerning the time and days weddings are celebrated shall be in conformity with diocesan-wide guidelines so that individual parish practices do not appear arbitrary.

For a Catholic marriage in a place other than a church or sacred place permission is required from the diocesan bishop or the vicar general. When a priest/deacon applies for the dispensation from canonical form, he must complete the marriage preparation process before applying for this dispensation. It is also his responsibility to record the marriage and notify the churches of baptism and the chancery. When a priest/deacon is planning to witness a marriage outside the territory of his parish of assignment, he MUST have a delegation from competent authority for validity. Priests in residence, deacons of the parish, and all visiting clergy need delegation for validity.

THE PASTORAL RESPONSIBILITIES

Since the theology of the Second Vatican Council characterizes Christian marriage as an “intimate partnership”, a “conjugal covenant” of life and love, it is evident that effective pastoral preparation for couples expressing the desire to marry in the Catholic Church must be given special emphasis. Young people, in particular, need to be invited to move beyond romance or physical attraction to a sound foundation of love and commitment.

The Church has the pastoral obligation to assist those desiring to marry to make a prayerful and mature judgment concerning their marriage. In particular, the priest/deacon, who plans to witness a marriage, is personally responsible for the complete marriage preparation process. He has the serious moral and ministerial responsibility to assist the couple in understanding the meaning of Christian marriage in its human, spiritual, sacramental and canonical aspects, and to provide a liturgical experience that truly celebrates and manifests the momentous step that the couple is taking.

A positive attitude on the part of the priest/deacon toward the couple is the first step in pastoring the engaged. The priest/deacon who allows himself to be inspired and renewed by the enthusiasm of this love will find the preparation sessions a moment of grace for all.

The faithful in each parish share in the pastoral responsibility to help engaged couples prepare for their life together. Married couples have a particular responsibility to witness the holiness of their sacramental lives of intimacy, unity, self-sacrificing love and commitment. They may, therefore, be invited to participate actively in the marriage preparation of engaged couples in their parish.

Married couples have credibility in speaking to the engaged about the realities of married life and love. They also need the affirmation and guidance of the priest/deacon to deepen their understanding of the mystery of married love and the covenant of matrimony. The role of the priest/deacon is to provide opportunities for these married couples to come together for prayer, study, discussion, and mutual support. Thus, married couples can share the responsibility for marriage preparation.

The Church recognizes the unique and vital role of parents in the psychological, social, moral and spiritual development of their children. Renewal in the Church has included attempts to make sacramental preparation more family-centered. Parents are, therefore, encouraged to respond to the invitation of the priest/deacon to participate actively in the assessment and preparation of their children for marriage in the Church whenever possible. The best remote preparation by parents takes place in the family where their children experience the love their parents express to each other and to them.

THE MARRIAGE PREPARATION PROCESS

The Marriage Preparation Process consists of THREE PHASES:

PHASE ONE

PHASE ONE is to be COMPLETED WITHIN 30 DAYS from the initial contact. In the event that the marriage is delayed, the couple would know three to five months prior to their tentative wedding date.

The following tasks may be accomplished in one or more sessions where the priest/deacon or designated lay-minister should:

• Establish rapport with the couple making sure each is free to marry and providing prayer, support and counsel at this most important time in their lives.

• Examine their motives for marriage and relationship with the Church.

• Explore any special circumstances that may affect marriage, for example: age, cultural background, pregnancy, military service, physical or emotional problems, levels of faith and religious issues.

• Explain the Marriage Preparation Process.

• Obtain personal information, explain what other documentation is needed, and determine whether any dispensations or permissions will be necessary.

• Administer PREMARITAL REFLECTION INSTRUMENT like FOCUS to assist in beginning the assessment of the couple’s readiness to marry.

PHASE TWO

The priest/deacon or designated minister should discuss the results of the premarital reflection instrument and the strengths and weaknesses of the couple’s communication process.

Assure the couple that the instrument is not a test but is intended to be an effective guideline for worthwhile conversation. Explain that the results are being discussed in an effort to identify strengths and weaknesses in the couple.

Through the use of the pre-marital instrument, the couple can come to recognize that there are different ways of communication.
Examine the sacramental aspects of their human covenant.

“Authentic married love is taken up into divine love and is ruled and enriched by the redemptive power of Christ and the salvific action of the Church …” (Church in the Modern World, No. 48). This love involves the good of the whole person, the spouses, and the whole Church. Remember, marriage, as understood by the Catholic Church, is not just for a couple, but also for the entire community of the faithful. This emphasis in the theology of marriage is consistent with the claims of contemporary sociology that this is the first age in which people marry and remain in marriage because they love each other. And so there is this emphasis on the mutual exchange of love as constituting the sacrament of marriage, on married love as the source of the institution of marriage, and on the need for growth in this love in order to bring the sacrament to its full realization. 

The one preparing the couple for marriage must assess their readiness for marriage and complete the Pre-Nuptial Questionnaire.
The priest/deacon or designated minister has the important task of assisting the engaged couple in assessing their readiness for marriage. At this time, it is necessary that the minister be clear about what is being assessed, namely the couple’s:

• PRESENT STATE OF MATURITY, considering age, experience, and life experiences;

• POTENTIAL for personal growth in responsibility, relationship and intimacy, parenthood;

• CAPACITY to commit themselves to a lifelong marriage to each other.

Begin the liturgical wedding plans and present to them the parish guidelines. Inform the couple of the expenses that may occur. During PHASE TWO, the priest/deacon will make the decision to PROCEED or DELAY the marriage. If he proceeds, the wedding date will be confirmed and the process continues. If his decision is to delay the marriage, he will follow the procedure found in DELAY OF MARRIAGE.

If conflict of a personal nature is present between the priest/deacon and the engaged couple during the assessment process, they should mutually agree that another priest/deacon continue the marriage preparation process. This does not apply when the priest/deacon determines to delay the marriage for a good reason.

Couples who have been delayed by one priest/deacon frequently seek assistance for marriage from another priest/deacon. Since the reasons for the delay will vary in each case, pastoral considerations require a prudent investigation into the circumstances of the original delay.

PHASE THREE – ATTENDING A MARRIAGE PREPARATION PROGRAM

FORMAL MARRAGE PREPARATION presents the essential human and Christian aspects of marriage. The couple becomes aware of the total dimensions of the marriage. Formal Marriage Preparation includes reflection on the nature and sacramentality of marriage, married love and family life, couple prayer, marital responsibilities, communication within marriage, personal expectations, and openness to the possibility of children and other practical considerations.

It is important that the priest/deacon or designated minister know all the available formal marriage preparation programs within the diocese. It is important that an overview of each program be given so that the program, which best fits the couple’s needs may be chosen.

If participation as a couple is impossible by reason of special circumstances (for example: military service, out-of-state residence), such persons must obtain like preparation in their own localities in dialogue and cooperation with the priest/deacon who will perform the ceremony. If a couple is unable to attend any formal preparation program, the priest/deacon is responsible for marriage preparation.

In the final Preparation Process the priest/deacon or designated minister will discuss with the couple what they have learned and experienced at their formal marriage preparation program, their understanding of sacrament in light of their formal preparation, and their responsibilities as members of God’s people, as spouses and future parents. (ref. Church in the Modern Worldno. 48)
Complete all documentary requirements. As appropriate, grant permission for mixed marriage and/or apply for appropriate permissions or dispensations.

Answer any questions the couple may have and finalize the wedding liturgical options and discuss the wedding rehearsal, music, etc.

A DELAY OF MARRIAGE

A priest/deacon may not lightly delay the marriage of a parishioner who is free to marry in the Church. A priest/deacon may recommend that the marriage be delayed only for a just cause. [see Canons 1083-1094]

In those cases where the priest/deacon has decided that the celebration of Matrimony is to be delayed, the priest/deacon will inform the couple and offer to help them overcome the obstacles to their readiness for marriage. The priest/deacon must record the reason for delay in the prenuptial questionnaire and notify, in writing, the pastor of both parties of the reason(s) for the delay. Until such matters are remedied by continuing dialogue and/or counseling where called for, he cannot proceed with marriage plans.
When this occurs, the possibility of alienation of the couple from the Church may be minimized if, from the very start, the priest/deacon is careful to explain to the couple that these guidelines are ones which are calculated to protect the rights and happiness of those involved and not arbitrarily to infringe on them. In the event of a temporary postponement of the marriage, the couple will be offered the continuing concern of the Church so that they will not be left with the false impression that the Church has abandoned them. They will be encouraged to participate in parish liturgy as an engaged couple while the postponement is in effect.

A priest/deacon should not recommend a civil union where the sacrament of Matrimony has been delayed. If the engaged couple cannot be persuaded to postpone their wedding and indicate that they will marry outside the Church, the priest/deacon will not look upon such an attempted marriage as simply the lesser of two evils. If the engaged couple is judged not ready for marriage, then any union, even a merely civil one, could be a mistake. A priest/deacon is to do all he possibly can to persuade such a couple not to enter any kind of union at that particular time.

If the couple does not accept the decision, which has been made and expresses the intention of making other arrangements, the couple must be advised that the Church will not approve their action. The couple must be advised of the right to appeal. (see pg. 14)

SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES

Due to the varying backgrounds of couples requesting marriage today, circumstances are often present that warrant additional pastoral concern:

THE MARRIAGE OF MINORS

It is important that the couple understand the degree of maturity necessary for a serious, permanent commitment. When either of the parties is a minor (prior to his/her 18th birthday) at the time they make their intention to marry known to the priest/deacon, the decision to proceed may be given by the priest/deacon. This decision may be made ONLY AFTER consultation with the parents or guardians of both parties and a diocesan evaluation process has been completed. According to Church Law, those females who are not yet fourteen years of age and those males not yet sixteen years of age are not able to enter a valid marriage in the church. (c, 1083). The laws of the State concerning age must also be respected.

PREGNANCY

Pregnancy must be considered equally as grave a reason for not contracting marriage as for contracting marriage. A couple needs the time and opportunity to assess their reasons and readiness for marriage exclusive of the pregnancy. Pregnancy of itself, therefore, shall constitute no exception to the regulations concerning the setting of the date of the wedding.

DIFFERENT FAITHS

Since the unity of the spouses is a primary goal in marriage, couples of different faiths will be offered special consideration. The couple is to be helped to identify potential problems and work out shared plans to address special needs, clarify or update their understanding of Catholic beliefs and practices, discuss the practical implications regarding faith practice, the formation of children and dealing with the feelings of family members. A cooperative effort between clergy of both faith communities is encouraged.

VALIDATION

A validation is the exchange of consent in marriage, as it would have taken place had it been celebrated in the Church, although the solemnity may be omitted. The result is a valid marriage in the Church from the moment of the celebration.
If a couple has attempted marriage contrary to the laws of the Church or is seeking validation of an otherwise invalid marriage, they must follow the marriage preparation process described herein. The priest/deacon preparing the couple is to adjust these guidelines according to the special circumstances of the couple.

Pastoral discretion and sensitivity are essential in cases involving church validation of a civil marriage. The priest/deacon will need to determine reasons why the couple is seeking validation.

Regardless of the age of the couple, the request for validation provides an opportunity for a pastoral meeting between priest/deacon and the couple. A younger couple that has not completed a premarriage preparation program should be required to do so according to these guidelines. A couple civilly married for many years may require a different program handled privately by the priest/deacon or some other marriage preparation program suited to their needs.

REMARRIAGE

Couples who are entering a subsequent marriage are provided special consideration owing to their differing circumstances and past experiences with marriage. Those who have been married before may not be immediately free to enter a subsequent marriage in the Church. The priest/deacon will address the circumstances of each particular situation and assist the couple accordingly. The celebration of marriage, after an annulment, differs from the first marriage in that it should be more subdued, prayerful and without much fanfare.

LIVING TOGETHER

If, either from public knowledge or by frank admission of the couple, a priest/deacon knows that the couple is living together before their upcoming marriage, he must approach the premarital process with extreme pastoral care and delicacy.

Pope John Paul II encourages priests/deacons to take a “patient and loving” attitude toward couples living together without Church marriages. He has said that pastors must “never tire of telling people who live together that they should not consider themselves separated from the Church.” Rather, he has said, “approach people living together with discretion and respect and strive through patient and loving action to remove the impediments and smooth the road toward regularizing the situation.”

APPEAL AND EXCEPTIONS

If the marriage is delayed, the couple may appeal to the diocesan bishop, but only through the channels established at the diocesan level. Final determination rests with the diocesan bishop. The approval of the diocesan bishop is required for a priest/deacon to proceed with a marriage after the marriage has been delayed by another priest/deacon.

The length of the preparation is at the discretion of the diocesan bishop and is preferably six (6) months, but no less than four (4) months.

Other exceptions to these guidelines and their procedures are solely at the discretion of the diocesan bishop.

GUIDELINES FOR INTERVIEWING COUPLES OF DIFFERENT FAITHS

• Have you discussed your individual needs regarding participation in your own church?

• What difficulties might arise around your individual needs for participation? How do you expect to deal with these difficulties?

• Do you worry that your future spouse’s participation in his/her church will cause problems between you?

• Do you believe that you might have to give up your religion in order to avoid conflict between you concerning religion?

• Do you agree concerning child bearing and the education of children?

• Have you discussed how you will handle church customs and sacramental preparation for your children?

• How do you plan to share your religion, your customs and worship with your children?

• Are you comfortable with the decisions you have made as a couple concerning your worship practices? Will you worship together?

A retreat-type weekend for the engaged is offered at least twice a year in the Diocese of Shreveport. The weekend is developed and facilitated by a team consisting of married couples, and diocesan/parish staff.